Minneapolis Sucks

I haven’t yet told you how much or how badly sucks, have I?

Living in , I have never felt the odd inferiority complex some Saint Paulites exhibit when comparisons to their sister city across the river are brought up…because there’s no comparison. Minneapolis is a cold, manipulative, and calculating place. Let me tell you how.

On Friday, and I had a meeting in Minneapolis to pitch a potential client. We drove separately because the meeting was at 4 p.m. and neither of us were planning on returning to the office after the meeting.

So Blois, driving ahead of me, found a couple of open meters on…I think it was 2nd Street. I pulled into the second slot, turned off the engine and got out of the .

What’s the first thing you do when you park at a meter? You look at it, right? You go up to it and find out when the meter is enforced and if you need to plug in some quarters, you do. I look at the meter and it says that it is enforced until 4 p.m.

Our meeting was at four and we were running a tad late. It was after four. We were good to go.

After the meeting, Blois and I are walking down 2nd Street and Blois notices a tow truck where we had parked our cars. I can’t see my Jeep. We run over to the tow truck and the guy is getting ready to hook up the cable to pull Blois’ vehicle up onto the flatbed part of his truck. Blois tells the guy he doesn’t need to tow, that it’s his car and we’re going to leave.

But the guy would have none of it. All I can think about is the $180 it cost me the last time Minneapolis towed my Jeep.

Slowly filling with righteous rage, Blois and I point out that the meters say they are not enforced after 4 p.m. and we parked there after four peee emmmmm. But the towing guy points out a street sign indicating that there’s no stopping between 4 and 6 p.m. We hadn’t even noticed the sign because, you know, you get confirmation from the meter and then what else do you need? Nothing.

Contradictory signs appears to be a way to create revenue for Minneapolis. Thanks, .

The towing guy says he’ll give us a ride to the impound lot and I guess we should be thankful for that. We get in the truck and though grumbling about our ordeal, Blois is entirely gracious with the guy, saying he understands that the guy’s just doing his job.

All I can muster is a “I hate Minneapolis.” I’m not feeling particularly gracious.

“Yeah, I hate Minneapolis, too,” the towing guy says. It looks like he’s got a pinch of between his gums. Crackly old school Country Western music sprays out from the AM band. “I’ve been stabbed and shot in Minneapolis. My wife came down with brain cancer and she died three weeks ago,” he tells us.

“Dude, I’m so sorry,” Blois says.

Either the tower’s travails puts everything in perfect and proper perspective, or he’s got a foolproof way to shut disgruntled people up.

We get to the impound lot and I step up to the bulletproof window to pay the goddamn city to get my Jeep back as a result of their intentionally misleading signs and find out the damage is $138.

“You’ve dropped your prices. I wasn’t expecting that much,” I say as the guy at the window slips my driver’s license back to me through the slit in the glass. I write out the check and slip it to him.

“And you’ll need to get this taken care of within the next week,” he says, slipping a ticket to me through the glass. It’s for $34.

“That’s more like it,” I say, stuff it in my pocket, and head outside to find my Jeep.

I can’t get out of the horrid city fast enough; but not too fast, because, God knows, I’ll get a ticket for speeding. I breathe a sigh of relief as I cross the border from the hostile Minneapolis into the warm and welcoming embrace of my city, Saint Paul, a place where I’ll never worry about being towed.

104 Replies to “Minneapolis Sucks”

  1. Two points:
    1) It has been my experience that, as a matter of custom, any parking ticket that is appealed for any feasible reason will be overturned. If you want to put up with the hassel, you can at least avoid the $34.

    2) I’ve been a victim of the contradictory signs too. My anger has slowly subsided over the years, and I’ve realized that contradictory signs are just the price to pay for plowed streets and tangible nightlife not consisting of drunken tommies.

  2. I personally have no inferiority complex. I will get into arguments about which city is better and why. I refuse to cross into Minneapolis unless it is absolutely necessary. Saint Paul is more beautiful, has a more neighborly feel, and doesn’t try to be “all that”.

  3. Sorry to say this, because I have been towed for not seeing signs often, but these weren’t contradictory. The sign said no stopping between 4 and 6, probably to add a lane to the street during rush hour. The meter said that it stopped being enforced at 4, probably because they couldn’t charge you to park there during a time when parking was illegal. If the meter had extended its times, it would have been contradictory, like a meter on a yellow curb.

    I am surprised that you didn’t check the signs after getting out of your car, especially since you were parking in downtown, where parking is rarely simple (true whether in St. Paul or Minneapolis).

  4. I just got a parking ticket for parking in front of our loft in the warehouse district. It’s my fault because the sign clearly says half an hour parking only. I’ve lived here for six months and today is the first day that it’s been enforced.

    What’s wrong with this picture?

  5. This is somewhat off topic. From my experience, Minneapolis is filled with sociopaths, but not for the reason you cite.

    I was a grad student at Saint Mary’s University of Minnesota. I was eventually kicked out of the counseling program because of a personal vendetta that the Dean of Graduate Studies had against me. Mind you, they didn’t order me to leave until AFTER they extracted $30,000 worth of student loans that I’m now on the hook to repay, even though I have no way to repay it.

    I filed a grievance with the laughable Minnesota Human rights Commission. That organization told me that I had no basis for a harrassment or discrimination suit against the university because it is a private university. Saint Mary’s University ruined my life. I sought out the Arch Diocese of Minneapolis, but all they siad was, “We don’t get involved in these sorts of things” and “Despair is a sin, so don’t worry about what happened”. Wow. Even the Catholic Church in Minneapolis is heartless and cowardly. I hate Minneapolis so much that when I moved away it felt like I was leaving some type of oppressive dictatorship and returning to the US. If we ever get nuked, I hope the very first one hits Minneapolis.

  6. I googled “illegal tow minneapolis” and happened to find this site, so here’s what happened to me today:

    I am a student at the U of M and I normally ride the bus from Midtown but I was late for my class this morning so I drove. I parked in a by-the-hour lot just off campus and went to class. I came back and tried to pay with my check card but they only took cash, so I went to the nearest ATM, which was at McDonalds (4th St and 15th Ave). I was hungry so I ordered a double cheeseburger on my way out. I paid the parking attendant and headed away from campus to look for a free parking spot for the rest of the day.

    I decided I was still hungry so I went back to McDonalds and ordered some apple pies and a coke. The cashier made a joke about what a healthy lunch I was eating. I sat down and ate, read a newspaper and did some homework for about 45 minutes to an hour, then I went to the parking lot to find that my car had been towed. I talked to the McDonald’s manager, who said that my car was towed because I had parked in their lot and left the premesis, which of course I hadn’t. I am a senior at the U and have seen more than enough cars towed from McDonald’s to know better. She called the guy from the towing company into the restaraunt and he said he had watched me park in their lot and walk straight to the University, not even going into McDonald’s. I couldn’t believe this guy would lie right to my face, but that is exactly what he did!

    After talking to the manager and getting nowhere, I did what all college students do when they have exhausted all other alternatives: I called my dad. He talked to the manager with no progress except to get the number of the general manager, who was also no help. I called the police and they said they can’t do anything about it because it’s a private lot and McDonald’s authorized the tow. They said all I can do is pay to get my car out and take them to small claims court. I had now lost a tleast an hour of study time (which really means I will get one less hour of sleep tonight) in addition to the $250 I will have to pay to get my car back and the hassle of goign to court, where I probably have no chance of winning because I don’t have a receipt. The cashier remembers seeing me but he probably won’t by the time it gets to court and there are cameras by the counter that would show me coming into the restaruant, buying my food and going to sit down, but I was told that the tapes are only kept for a few days so they will be gone too.

    My theory is that the towing guy is not actually trying to screw me out of money but saw me walking towards the campus earlier to pay at the other lot and saw me park my car at McDonald’s and somehow confused the order of the two events. I hope it is not the case that he actually knew I was in the restaraunt and he towed me anyway, but either way I am out $250 and will have to find a new place to eat now that I am obligated to boycott McDonald’s indefinitely. On the bright side, I will probably make up the $250 later on in life by not having to pay the medical bills associated with a few decades of eating double cheeseburgers. Unfortunately that won’t help this dirt-poor college student pay the rent. Moral of the story: if you go to the Dinkytown McDonalds (which you shouldn’t, damn them) say hello to the manager and politely ask that your car not be towed while you are enjoying a Big Mac.

  7. Like many I found this site performing the keyword search of ‘Minneapolis sucks’. I came to Minneapolis because my spouse’s career in healthcare requires us to be here for a year. I made a large mistake due to a limited time frame from obvious traffic problems upon my visit here in Minneapolis to reside in Eden Praire. At the time I had no idea the commute from Eden Prairie to Minneapolis is as bad as it is!

    My wife and I have spent the last six months in total hell because of all the misleading traffic signs & obviously unsafe conditions in the Minneapolis metropolitan region due to lack of planning or purposely poor road systems. And just think, Gordy Pehrson the director of traffic safety for the state of Minnesota have the nerve to preach about traffic safety & causes of accidents. The articles about Gordy or from him in my opinion were only written as a requirement of his or someone else’s current title. There studies don’t have to be necessarily factual but are only performed to butter someone’s bottom line as a requirement. Unfortunate reality is the audience takes it as fact & keeps re-electing these morons so they can keep implementing dumb rules.

    In my professional opinion state governments like Minnesota are directly responsible for traffic fatalities because they have a road system clearly & vindictively designed to manipulate & psychologically mess with the minds of every driver who enters it. It is clearly a money pit & only intended for two purposes: a). to turn a profit & b). To depress the drivers. The sad truth is those affected by the speeding portion are affected for years to come with high insurance premiums & all for nothing more than to turn a profit of a couple hundred dollars per speeder & to make every single driver in your state paranoid as hell so they’re afraid to: change lanes, speed, merge, stop, go, etc..

    It has been my experience states like Minnesota have a serious traffic problem because its drivers are extremely paranoid & overanalyzing. I agree with k-bomb in his/her above post about residents in Minneapolis being sociopaths only I believe that truth stretches much further than the borders of Minnesota! The unfortunate reality is the United States is supposed to be a place for business & some state governments are scaring it away!

  8. I have a sure fire way for you to avoid this in the future! Park in a ramp. It is a business expense and might cost you $8 for 2 hours. Yes, the whole city sucks and everyone else is at fault. I like a good rant as much as the next guy but this is bordering on retarded. As the owner of the car and the driver YOU are responsible for parking it legally.

    As for St. Paul…how is that downtown commercial vacancy rate going? Still around 40%? Minneapolis is a city. Cities are different than towns. St. Paul is a town and feel great pride in that fact. There are plenty of peopl in Minneapolis who want to be here. If you like that side of the river, stay there. It will give me more parking options.

  9. Kevin,

    “The unfortunate reality is the United States is supposed to be a place for business & some state governments are scaring it away!”

    Are you totally high? Please cite anywhere in the Consitiution of the United States where it states teh US is supposed to be a place for business?

    Do me a favor, move to Alabama where the taxes are low, the schools suck, there are no government services, and you can make enough money to create a false environment of society on your compound.

    “Unfortunate reality is the audience takes it as fact & keeps re-electing these morons so they can keep implementing dumb rules.”

    Where exactly on your ballot is the office of Director of Traffic Safety? These are political appointees.

    Also, if you could please clarify which of these two positions you actually agree with?

    1) “In my professional opinion state governments like Minnesota are directly responsible for traffic fatalities because they have a road system clearly & vindictively designed to manipulate & psychologically mess with the minds of every driver who enters it.”

    2) “It has been my experience states like Minnesota have a serious traffic problem because its drivers are extremely paranoid & overanalyzing.”

    One is your porfessional opinion and one is based upon your experience? What exactly is your profession and how is it that it is in no way impacted by experience? Do you coach for the Vikings?

  10. I hate both of the cities with a deep and abiding passion. I have had my car towed, impounded, ticketed, broken into, and stolen. I’ve been lied to, cheated, swindled, and I’ve even been chased by some psycho on the street because HE almost got hit by SOMEONE ELSE because HE ran a red light. I had a “neighbor” from St. Paul harrass me at work and then he managed to get my cell phone number and he still harrasses me and my husband by phone and it’s been 2 years since we lived in that part of St. Paul. That’s just the mild experiences. There’s more… oh so much more. I could write a novel about the aweful experiences I’ve had here. I feel like I’m living in a slum and paying a fortune for it! I am moving as far away as possible as soon as my husband finishes his degree, if not sooner. I will never recommend that anyone ever visit this horrible place, let alone live here or attend school here. Anyone who preaches that the Twin Cities are Minnesota Nice is a complete dumbass who can’t see the fucking slum at his feet.

  11. Your random thoughts are neither clever nor witty.

    Do you actually make a living writing, or is this your dream job while you sell shoes?

    Stay in St. Paul.

    You’re the one that sucks…and probably quite often.

  12. Wow, Dave, I just wanted to find more video game stuff without all the god-awful load times. Partially my fault, Comcast and Webroot/Norton/McAfee bog down (I’ve had Comcast less than a week and I’m learning to hate them with a passion).

    So wtf started this waste of time “argument”? One place is “better” than the other. The quality of people is better. The quality of bureaucracy is better. The quality of towing service is better. Next there’ll be some schlock about how the Cops/State Troopers are nicer over here/there. Gimme a break. There are problems EVERYWHERE! Not just around college campuses, downtown districts, and ghetto/blue-collar slums.

    If you honestly think there’s a distinct difference in the quality of citizen from one ethnic/economic neighborhood to another just because of an invisible city border line: then you’re either a suburban hick or an urban rube.

    Reading all of the crap posted, several things become apparent to me:
    • Vote Democrat. If you don’t know why, cough-up a “fee”, bend over, and pull your head out of your … wherever.
    • If you think corporations give a crap about you: slap yourself. Twice.
    • If you think religious institutions are better than corporations: see number 2.
    • If you think you’re going to get any humane understanding or cooperation from a car towing service, repo service, or the DMV/DoT: slap yourself. Twice. There’s a reason why they get stabbed and shot.
    • Don’t associate with people who listen to country music. I don’t care how many times you/they have been stabbed or shot, it’s bad for evolution.
    • If you claim to have to have no bias, or “inferiority complex”, and then proceed to espouse a prejudice: guess what, you have one. Slap yourself. Twice.
    • If you think traffic/parking/bad-driver issues are so horrendous here, and the people are so unbelievably “psycho” (or blue-collar, or ghetto, or un-neighborly, or intellectual, or metropolitan, or snooty, or whatever): try going to New York, Miami, Chicago, Los Angeles, Las Vegas … anyplace that’s actually “anyplace”, and then start telling us about how “these things just don’t exist here”, and how you’ve found such an idealistic utopia. Then slap yourself. Twice.

    The only gripe I’ve heard that I truly agreed with, and got a laugh out of, was about 35E & 35W. As out-of-towners may have had quite the conundrum over: 35E/35W runs neither east nor west, it runs north and south. For out-of-towners trying to do simple navigation off the cuff (sans a map or any directions) this can be quite confusing.

  13. Get a clue. Your not even discussing the real issue why people came to this site in first place.. All you’re doing is nitpicking at stupid non-related things which have absolutely nothing to do with what anyone is talking about. These forums are dumb & so is internet & I’m sorry for ever coming here. Moral of story, Minnesota still sucks & so do supporters of it!

  14. Previous post not directed at ‘The Other Dave’ but rather mugwump. Mugwump you remind me of the over-politically correct typical asshole I bump into in Madison or San Francisco! Get a clue this isn’t lit class but only some stupid forum & my personal or professional life is none of your business! Designing a shitty state & catering to outsiders is totally my business because i’m the outsider & i’m totally never coming back to this dump. There is far too much about this state which makes no sense & only depresses & people like you are a big part of that!

  15. Minnesota is full of depressing & mean people who do nothing more than isolate themselves more and more from a solution. Those in Minnesota who don’t fit in this category are victim & in my opinion the minority.

    Also Minnesota has a road system (not the best) but its drivers are afraid to use it! Perhaps its time for some counseling y’all!

  16. Hey! Why are you talking to that mugwump ‘tard and not me!?! What has he got to say for anything?
    “There are plenty of peopl in Minneapolis who want to be here.” Gimme a break. Like who? 40% vacancy. Nothing says fun like: “Hi, welcome to fabulous St. Paul! We have parking spaces!”. Blow me. If by “plenty of peopl” he means ghetto-ass urban red-neck misanthropes who think “conservative” is a right state of mind (and find that humor to be hilariously intelligent), and he thinks they’d all be proud to live in that St. Paul town … maybe he hasn’t heard of Anoka. And I’m sure they have lots of parking, too.
    And “y’all” nothing. This ain’t Texas. People don’t need to use the roads more – there are enough ‘tards driving as it is, don’t encourage ‘em! People need to start using public transportation more. It’ll help with the parking problem and hopefully get more ‘tards and drunks off the road. Speaking of drunks, Todd, you need to drink more. It might help.

  17. Just reading the comments. Laughing because I told my wife everyone in MN is an inbred, clannish asshole just last night. She disagreed. She said she lives here and she resented my comment. I told her that not withstanding people here are fake. They pretend to be cosmopolitan and hip but that is easily seen through. Just ask if they have ever been west of St Cloud or east of Chicago. Back stabbing, credit taking wannbee’s. And don’t get me started on the weather. Ice Station Zebra. I checked Central Alaska’s weather yesterday and they were 15 degrees warmer in April! 99% of the Minnesotans I have met and dealt with are assholes with a thin veil of MN Nice (my ass). I can’t wait until we have enough time in the house we bought here to sell it without a huge tax hit. I WILL go back to where I’m from you shitheads. Know where someone who lives in MN goes on vacation? FUCKING ANYWHERE!

  18. Ha! Nice to see others agree with the crap I’ve been bitchign about for the past 2 years! My fiance and i moved here for a job, and it has been a living hell!!!! Nobody will talk to you unless you grew up here and went to high school here. THe traffic problem, well, I think everyone’s covered it (I hate those freaking farmer idiots who come to a COMPLETE stop on the on-ramp to 35W!!!!!!!!!! Get up to speed morons–don’t be shy!!) I have nothing good to say about the Twin Cities. I’m actually going to sell my house at a $60k hit just to get the hell out of here as fast as possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll give the city teh finger the whole way out.

  19. Only fucking retards who have no grip on reality would complain about people from MN being assholes. I was born and raised in NY, and if you want the personification of asshole just go to Long Island! I am in the military and was stationed here (not by my choice), and granted I probably disdain the natives more than anyone on this post, but shit…I never would’ve expected to hear people say MN-ites (or whatever you call them) are “big assholes”. But yes, the “Twin Cities” and MN as a whole is lame as hell.

  20. Big deal, mate. The same thing happens in Chicago. The meter does not matter. You MUST look for signs nearby for rush hour no-parking warnings.

  21. Your right St. Paul is way better than mpls.

    1. Mpls is pretentous and filled with yuppies and homosexuals. (i have nothing against gays)

    2.Mpls smells bad staight up.

    3.The cops are much bigger assholes.

    4.The people over there are uglier and more stupid.

    5.The city name itself is just too long and people confuse it with indianapolis.

    Now here are some facts about st paul.

    1.St. Paul is the capitol city so we run the state bitches.

    2.St. Paul keeps it REAL.

    3. St. Paul was founded by a bout-it gangster pirate bootlegger named pigs eye.

    4. We got more Irish people so we can out drink you and blacken both yer eyes for talkin reckless.

    5. Allways some where to park and no got damn meters.

    also downtown st. paul is great it feels like an old river town with some history instead of an outdoor mall like mpls.

    Minnesota in general is great though and get the fuck outa here talkin about NY is better thats why your in the army with your dumb ass instead of one of our fine colleges. and fuck chicago too im sick of you motherfuckers comin up here talkin about “im from the chi fam” well get your ass back down there and stop complaining. But u cant go back cause u dont have a job there cause our economy and social programs are better up here.

    And to the rest of you ducks that live in the suburbs just kill youself allready and stop bitching about the damn traffic. Go to Mexico city and complain about the fucking traffic you suburbanite pieces of shit in an suv driving to chanhassan or minnetonka. The quality of life in the TC is straight up better than most places. We have low crime 2 budiful cities more fine busty tall blonde girls than ne where else. And it’s mutherfuckin great up here. Fuck the east coast. thats all.

  22. Representah???? Do you feel good for bragging about how soooo much better St. Paul is compared to Minneapolis? You are a loser! Quite frankly, Minnesota is not the epicenter of importance that you seem to think it is. Great schools, sure but you can find great schools all over the East and West Coasts. This is a blog where people who have moved here come on to bitch about Minneapolis. Anyone from anywhere else in the country knows very little about this place because…Minnesota is only known for being cold and electing Jesse “the Body”. I have not figured out why the Mall of America is even located here. You would think that would be in D.C. but hey throw those Minnesotans a bone. By the way, I am an Army Officer and graduated from UCONN ’02.

  23. I hate Minneapolis so much, I hope the Vikings sign Michael Vick for $131,000,000 just to piss off some of you stoic Nordic fuckers.

  24. After moving here 10 years ago, I find Minnesota to be the flakiest place I have ever been or lived in. While the idiocy of the road designs or the manner in which things are “done” in the Twin Cities are bad enough, I find Minnesotans to be the most passive-aggressive, back biting people I have ever encountered. I would say 90% of my friends here are from out of town and feel the same way I do. It’s almost impossible to “hit it off” with the locals. They’ve no real tradition or sense of hospitality, they are clannish and provincial in the extreme, and are extremely uncomfortable outside of their comfort zone of Minnesota familiars. Those that move away invariably return, like salamon swimming upstream, incapable of living outside of this goofy state. And why do the local sports stations waste time covering high school sports? Is that stupid or what? Minnesotans claim to be so tolerant yet are some of the most ignorant people when it comes to race and ethnicity that I have ever met. Every one of my friends has a story to tell about neighbors who decide to rake the leaves, mow the lawn, pick weeds, or snow blow sidewalks of others who offend their priggish sensibilities about yard care and the like. Of course, when Minnesotans do these things it’s not out of a genuine concern or out of kindness; rather, it’s out of vindictive resentment that the offending party isn’t conforming to the expectations of these morose, busy-bodies. And lastly, I have never seen such a slovenly bunch of people as here in Minnesota: sloppy, overweight, boorish, and slow on the uptake. Of course, Minnesotans are forever running down California, the South, and New York: the former is characterized as being full of quacks, the second full of rednecks, and the latter “rude.” The funny thing is, all these stereotypes of other places apply especially to the culture here.

  25. It’s funny that this “representah” thinks that St. Paul is superior because supposedly it has more Irish-Americans than Minneapolis. If he uses that kind of logic then he is mislead because compared to Boston, Philadelphia, and NY MN/STPL has almost no Irish. Just thought I’d point out this dumbasses warped logic.

  26. Wtf is up w/Rochester? I mean, we all bitch a little about Minneapolis, but Rochester is a podunk town with more arrogance and snottiness than all of the greater Minneapolis metro area combined. And this is true ONLY because of the Mayo clinic. Everyone in Rochester has his nose in the air (by way of his ass) simply because Rochester has the famed hospital. Well, Rochester also has a federal prison, but you don’t hear any of the hicks in Rochester ever mention that. Don’t get me wrong. I hate Minneapolis too, but at least people there don’t pretend to be sophisticated just because they have a Barnes & Noble.

  27. You don’t like Minneapolis pal, than stay out. We don’t need your whining ass up here anyway.

    You make a blog about this. Seriously, you need a life. Go outside and smell the flowers.

    And grow up!

    Have a great day!

    Bob Hopkins

  28. No Bob I and many of my pals on here don’t like Minneapolis. I can’t speak for everyone but I will say that I find people from Minnesota in general as the people who need to get out more and “smell the flowers”. Next to North Dakotans, the people here are the most homogenous dolts I’ve ever come across.

  29. How the hell did I miss this page? I’ve been blogging for some time about how bad Minneapolis is.
    I lived there for two years and agree with everything bad everybody else said about that hole. I think Minnesota as a state is a beautiful chunk of land that is absolutely ruined and made rank by its residents. In my time there, I learned that Minnesota natives are pigfucking meth addicts. They are uneducated, bipolar, and passive-aggressive. The US Air Force should do the rest of the country a favor and drop Zoloft and Prozac over every square inch of that place.
    They have such a low opinion of New York and California because they know, if they stepped one foot in either place, they would cry in shame at their own backwardness and ignorance.
    In conclusion: Minnesotans are a national disgrace.

  30. Hey Bob,

    When I moved away from Minnesota it felt like I was leaving a communist regime, albeit with some pretty weird nazi-wannabes thrown in. God what a liberally socialistic regime Minnesota is. Nice job of baiting Chicago’s and Detroit’s lowest with food stamps and millions of dollars’ worth of other social programs that YOU have to pay for while YOUR crime rate goes up, Bob. As for whining, Bob, there’s a difference between whining and presenting a legitimate gripe. Shitheads like you are a dime a dozen, so by talking down to you I know I’ll be reaching tens of thousands of morons like you too. First, there’s Minneapolis, a city which pretends to be sophisticated because it’s big. What an ugly city. If I had been Mary Tyler Moore, I would have been tossing my cookies and not my hat. And wtf is up with Saint Mary’s University of Minnesota? First they take your tuition money and then they tell you to get the hell out of their excuse of a university, the crooks. Then there’s Rochester: a place where people try to mug you because they saw you leaving a Subway sandwich shop and thus assume you’re rich. Oh, and let’s not forget Marriott Food Services at the Mayo Clinic: they fire you on your 89th day of employment so they won’t have to pay you any benefits. Whining? I don’t think so, Bob. Minneapolis definitely sucks, and Rochester is just a Minnie-wannabe. Sorry to bitch slap you with the truth, Bob. That’s the way it is. Stay out of Minneapolis? With pleasure; even the Canadian geese shit all over Minneapolis and Rochester, which is appropriate. Have fun shoveling snow this winter in arctic temperatures while I’ll only need a windbreaker on the coldest days where I live. Hey, I might even go swimming again this Christmans. Take care, Bob. How ’bout those Vikings? how are they doing this year? Oh, sorry. Sore topic, eh?

  31. Saint Mary’s University blows goats. Now THAT’S a good way to start this post. Oh, well. Doesn’t matter. Today I had the day off. I did nothing. I didn’t fight traffic to get to work. I didn’t have to deal with overcrowding, or a high cost of living. There weren’t any university sociopaths to have to countermanipulate (no offense, Roxie). No stoic bullshit from spock-like people. No snow to shovel. No fines for failing to clear the snow from the sidewalk in front of the house. No dark, gloomy, gray skies. Just an entire day to put on the ol’ swim trunks, head outside, and hit the pool, with beverage and favorite tunes, of course. So how are things in Minneapolis?

  32. “Do me a favor, move to Alabama where the taxes are low, the schools suck, there are no government services, and you can make enough money to create a false environment of society on your compound.”……….

    I did that only I moved to Texas. Only problem is you Liberal Minnesotans are also coming down here with your big government ideas and it’s becoming what I sought to leave behind. Government services? What happened to the “can do” that Minnesotans used adhere to? And on the schools in MN? they’re just a over rated social experiment!

  33. Bob Hopkins: “Go outside and smell the flowers.”

    And how would we do that, Bob, when it’s -67 outside?

    Stay in Minnesota where you can either suffer cabin fever or go outside and get the flu. Then, while you’re recovering from that, Bob, you can count the number of citations you get for the city for not going outside and keeping the sidewalk in front of your house clear of snow that the snowplow shoved there while you were inside recuperating from the flu.

    Where I live, the coldest winter day is like a spring day in Minneapolis. The population density is much lower. Traffic isn’t a problem whenever I feel like going for a drive. People aren’t overly rude or “give-a-shit” stoic. The cost of living is low, commeasurate with my income. Skies are usually blue, NOT some piss-heavy shade of gray.

    Oh, and where I live, I CAN “go outside and smell the flowers”.

    Thanks Bob.

  34. So can anyone fill me in on the Somalian thing? Is Minneapolis/St. Paul being turned into a little Africa? Is it possible to live in the area and avoid the urbanization problems that come with Africanization?

  35. When i lived in Rochester years ago, there was a pretty large influx of Somolians into the area. That was in the mid 1990’s, right after Clinton’s screw-up which resulted in dead Army Rangers being cut off from any help, their position overrun, and them being killed and their bodies dragged through the streets during the “most ethical administration in the history of America”.

    OOPS. I digressed, didn’t I?

    Anyway, a great many people from Somolia came to the US in an effort to escape the thuggery of the gun-lords, and their desire to murder any and every Somolian who didn’t get with their program.

    They came to the US and applied for refugee status, which they got, by the truckload, in politically liberal Minnesota. The taxpayer funded a massive bill to pay for housing, food stamps, emergency fuel assistance, etc, for those folks. Hell, you taxpayers even gave up some of your income so these folks could have $1,000 per month for what Minnesota called (and, presumably, still calls) “refugee pay”.

    Isn’t your government kind and loving? So what if you have to surrender a portion of your hard-earned income. The government of Minnesota knows how to spend your money bewtter than you do, so fork it over, Olaf.

    OOF-DA!

  36. Hi Rob,
    I’ll have to take a look at where Rochester is, as I only now it as a place in New York. So are we saying Minneapolis is essentially Little Africa now?

    The reason I ask, is that I may end up with a job offer there. But of that is the case, I’d rather avoid the place altogether, as I’d just be trying to leave anyway.

  37. Hi Rob,
    I’ll have to take a look at where Rochester is, as I only now it as a place in New York. So are we saying Minneapolis is essentially Little Africa now?

    The reason I ask, is that I may end up with a job offer there. But of that is the case, I’d rather avoid the place altogether, as I’d just be trying to leave anyway.

  38. Hi Mike,

    Rochester is essentially a smaller version of Minneapolis. In the mid 90s there was a heavy influx of refugees from Somolia into the larger population centers in Minnesota, which, of course, included Rochester. The problem with the situation isn’t the refugees, at least not when I lived in Minnesota. The problem is the liberal government, which in typical liberal fashion tried to fix a problem by throwing a lot of money at it. Specifically, it is yet another example of what happens when libs think they know how to spend your money better than you do. In this case, it is a clear redistribution of the wealth -and to those who aren’t even Americans in the first place. In Minnesota, charity does not begin at home.

    Also, some refugees aren’t interested in becoming loyal, productive citizens, only in cashing in on the Minnesota gravy train. I hope they are in the (statistical) minority within their population, but who knows?

    The winters there are more hideous than William Shatner singing “Rocket Man”.

  39. Hi Mike,

    Rochester is essentially a smaller version of Minneapolis. In the mid 90s there was a heavy influx of refugees from Somolia into the larger population centers in Minnesota, which, of course, included Rochester. The problem with the situation isn’t the refugees, at least not when I lived in Minnesota. The problem is the liberal government, which in typical liberal fashion tried to fix a problem by throwing a lot of money at it. Specifically, it is yet another example of what happens when libs think they know how to spend your money better than you do. In this case, it is a clear redistribution of the wealth -and to those who aren’t even Americans in the first place. In Minnesota, charity does not begin at home.

    Also, some refugees aren’t interested in becoming loyal, productive citizens, only in cashing in on the Minnesota gravy train. I hope they are in the (statistical) minority within their population, but who knows?

    The winters there are more hideous than William Shatner singing “Rocket Man”.

  40. Hi Rob,
    Shatner singing Rock Man, LOL!

    Well, seems like this Fox News Story pretty much sums up that it’s going crazy there…

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,259761,00.html

    To be honest I don’t get to follow the policies of libs v. conservatives too much, so I can’t speak with any authority on that. But no doubt it’s the gov’t in general that wasn’t thinking when they decided to set this all in motion.

    Cold weather I can deal with, generalized africanization, perhaps not.

    It says in there that the Somalis feel pork is unclean and defiling. Have to admit, I feel the same way about anything from africa. Problem is, I can’t say, at work perhaps… “keep the africa away from me because of my religion” LOL! Sure, that’d fly real well.

    But geez, who knows. Imus is back, LOL!

  41. Hi Rob,
    Shatner singing Rock Man, LOL!

    Well, seems like this Fox News Story pretty much sums up that it’s going crazy there…

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,259761,00.html

    To be honest I don’t get to follow the policies of libs v. conservatives too much, so I can’t speak with any authority on that. But no doubt it’s the gov’t in general that wasn’t thinking when they decided to set this all in motion.

    Cold weather I can deal with, generalized africanization, perhaps not.

    It says in there that the Somalis feel pork is unclean and defiling. Have to admit, I feel the same way about anything from africa. Problem is, I can’t say, at work perhaps… “keep the africa away from me because of my religion” LOL! Sure, that’d fly real well.

    But geez, who knows. Imus is back, LOL!

  42. I’ve lived in Kansas City, Boston, NYC, London, Iowa and Minneapolis over the course of many years. There’s really not a lot that separates any of those places once you get past the obvious differences. Some are more liberal, some more conservative, you have the poor, rich, ignorant, arrogant, it doesn’t matter where you go. I get the sense that many people above are bitching for the sake of bitching. Go live in a few different places, then tell me that Mnpls, or any other city, is all that great or all that bad compared to any other.

  43. I’ve lived in Kansas City, Boston, NYC, London, Iowa and Minneapolis over the course of many years. There’s really not a lot that separates any of those places once you get past the obvious differences. Some are more liberal, some more conservative, you have the poor, rich, ignorant, arrogant, it doesn’t matter where you go. I get the sense that many people above are bitching for the sake of bitching. Go live in a few different places, then tell me that Mnpls, or any other city, is all that great or all that bad compared to any other.

  44. Well DL, your sentiments are appreciated. I’ve lived in Detroit, Denver, Salt Lake City, Roanoke (Va), San Antonio, Radford (Va), Las Cruces (NM), and, of course, Rochester Mn. From my experience, the people in Salt Lake City and Minneapolis come across as more stand-offish and stoic by far than any other place I’ve lived. These are not the kind of people who are fun to be around at parties. “Hey Fred, is this a great party or what?” Says Fred, “I suppose. But life isn’t to be enjoyed, Rob. It’s to be gotten on with. I’m going home and give my new TurboTax cd a whirl”.

    I’ve lived in several cities across the US, some large and some not, but I was only assaulted in Rochester Mn. I was attacked by three punks who I beat away (the knuckle of my left hand middle finger is still much larger than the others as a result). I admittedly have a bias against Rochester, but I also have one against Minneapolis, because I was screwed over by Saint Mary’s University, which happens to be there. In both cases, I believed (and still do) that those who targeted me were typical of the mentalities of those cities. As for bitching, I feel I’ve earned that right. And believe you me, I exercise that right fully!

    I would never live close to boston. It’s too close to the New England Patriots -the most overrated team in the history of the NFL.

    What was London like? Sounds interesting.

  45. Well DL, your sentiments are appreciated. I’ve lived in Detroit, Denver, Salt Lake City, Roanoke (Va), San Antonio, Radford (Va), Las Cruces (NM), and, of course, Rochester Mn. From my experience, the people in Salt Lake City and Minneapolis come across as more stand-offish and stoic by far than any other place I’ve lived. These are not the kind of people who are fun to be around at parties. “Hey Fred, is this a great party or what?” Says Fred, “I suppose. But life isn’t to be enjoyed, Rob. It’s to be gotten on with. I’m going home and give my new TurboTax cd a whirl”.

    I’ve lived in several cities across the US, some large and some not, but I was only assaulted in Rochester Mn. I was attacked by three punks who I beat away (the knuckle of my left hand middle finger is still much larger than the others as a result). I admittedly have a bias against Rochester, but I also have one against Minneapolis, because I was screwed over by Saint Mary’s University, which happens to be there. In both cases, I believed (and still do) that those who targeted me were typical of the mentalities of those cities. As for bitching, I feel I’ve earned that right. And believe you me, I exercise that right fully!

    I would never live close to boston. It’s too close to the New England Patriots -the most overrated team in the history of the NFL.

    What was London like? Sounds interesting.

  46. Hi Mike,

    If you live anywhere near Buffalo, then a winter in Minnesota won’t be any different, except maybe less snow. Late in the winter of ’96 (I think), when the temperatures there were typically in the -20 to -30 range, and sometimes as cold as -67, two of my neighbors were chatting outside while snowblowing their driveways. The thermometer was right at zero. One said, “Spring’s early this year”. The other said, “Ya!”. And you know, after those extreme cold temps, zero actually DID feel kind of warm lol

    As for the Somalis, in Minnesota you’re going to find that some are honest and hardworking, but more often than not you’ll find these refugees living it up on the taxpayer’s dole. Minnesotans bitch about it all the time, but they keep voting for the same politicians who keep screwing them out of their hard earned money. It’s sad, but funny.

  47. Hi Mike,

    If you live anywhere near Buffalo, then a winter in Minnesota won’t be any different, except maybe less snow. Late in the winter of ’96 (I think), when the temperatures there were typically in the -20 to -30 range, and sometimes as cold as -67, two of my neighbors were chatting outside while snowblowing their driveways. The thermometer was right at zero. One said, “Spring’s early this year”. The other said, “Ya!”. And you know, after those extreme cold temps, zero actually DID feel kind of warm lol

    As for the Somalis, in Minnesota you’re going to find that some are honest and hardworking, but more often than not you’ll find these refugees living it up on the taxpayer’s dole. Minnesotans bitch about it all the time, but they keep voting for the same politicians who keep screwing them out of their hard earned money. It’s sad, but funny.

  48. Yes Rob, you certainly have earned the right to bitch! It’s funny about your perspective on MN though, I thought people were generally nice when I lived there, guess it depends on the surroundings you end up in. Minneapolis is actually among my favorite places to have lived (and no, I’m not from MN). As for the mentality type you speak of, I still think it’s the same in any big city (can’t speak for Rochester).

    London was great, loved every minute of it. But if you think MN’ans are frosty, try making friends in Britain! Well, London anyway. But decent people once you break through the exterior. Much like Boston.

    Yes, the Pats are overated… but I still like them better than the ViQueens 🙂

  49. Yes Rob, you certainly have earned the right to bitch! It’s funny about your perspective on MN though, I thought people were generally nice when I lived there, guess it depends on the surroundings you end up in. Minneapolis is actually among my favorite places to have lived (and no, I’m not from MN). As for the mentality type you speak of, I still think it’s the same in any big city (can’t speak for Rochester).

    London was great, loved every minute of it. But if you think MN’ans are frosty, try making friends in Britain! Well, London anyway. But decent people once you break through the exterior. Much like Boston.

    Yes, the Pats are overated… but I still like them better than the ViQueens 🙂

  50. Good points all, DL. I’ve never been in places like Blue Earth or even Dodge Center. It might well be that people in smaller towns are friendlier than are the folks in the larger population centers.

    I’m very surprised to hear the Londoners are so cold. It contradicts everything I’ve ever heard about the people of that city. Maybe it’s an anti-American sentiment to some extent. I would expect iciness from people in Paris, but not London.

    As for football, I am sick to death already of the entire sports media cramming down my throat that I have no right NOT to worship Tom Brady. Man! I could hear the fear in Tony Kornheiser’s voice on Monday Night Football! Amazing what happens to *invincible* Tom Brady’s passer rating when he’s pressured. Wasn’t it about 37% over the entire first half of the game? I could do better than that -and I’m an old fart.

  51. Good points all, DL. I’ve never been in places like Blue Earth or even Dodge Center. It might well be that people in smaller towns are friendlier than are the folks in the larger population centers.

    I’m very surprised to hear the Londoners are so cold. It contradicts everything I’ve ever heard about the people of that city. Maybe it’s an anti-American sentiment to some extent. I would expect iciness from people in Paris, but not London.

    As for football, I am sick to death already of the entire sports media cramming down my throat that I have no right NOT to worship Tom Brady. Man! I could hear the fear in Tony Kornheiser’s voice on Monday Night Football! Amazing what happens to *invincible* Tom Brady’s passer rating when he’s pressured. Wasn’t it about 37% over the entire first half of the game? I could do better than that -and I’m an old fart.

  52. Say, I moved to the Twin Cities from New York for work and have some questions:

    1. Why do Minnesotans call a shopping bag a “sack” (pronounced SEHK)? This is severely retarded.

    2. Do Minnesotans generally think it’s okay to STOP on a highway entrance ramp? What’s the plan here? Wait for a break in traffic or a time that feels better to them to make their move?

    3. Dude, what the hell is the deal with these invisible “crosswalks” all over the place which muck up traffic and cause confusion with some people stopping, some people going, etc.?

    4. What in the world is the deal with people stopping in the middle of a side street when I’m trying to cross and, then, giving me a cold, weird, stupefied look when I actually take them up on their brainless gesture?

    5. What is the deal with all the “diversity” and “racial reconciliation” stuff here? Do Minnesotans need special programs, staffed with “experts” to be able to deal with people of color/foreigners?

    6. Lastly, why do native Minnesotans all have a pole up their butt?

  53. Tom,
    The answer to all your questions is that you are making the mistake of thinking you are still in the United States.
    You are in a foreign land, my friend, with its own strange customs and hatred of the rest of the United States. Stick around the twin cities long enough, and you’ll hear natives say horrible things about Iowa (!), Wisconsin (or, in their language, “Sconny”), South Dakota (pronounced “Sodack”), and especially California. My advice to you is to never admit that you are from New York. Those two words drive Native Minnesotans into spasms of rage. Even though 99% of them have never been there.
    Many people have tried to explain why Minnesotans hate the rest of the country, but explanations like “inferiority complex” and “ignorant hicks” tell only half the story. There must be something more to Minnesotans’ detesting of the rest of the world, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to stick around long enough to find out. I left after two years there, and it is only through a steady diet of books, exposure to non-Norweigan culture, and not having to drive every goddamn place I need to go, that I am finally reversing the stultifying effects of Minnesota. If you don’t leave soon, you’ll eventually end up thinking of Garrison Keillor as a good writer.
    Finally, sign my petition at http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/kickoutMN/
    It will make you feel better. And whatever you do, DON’T go to the State Fair. That way lies madness.

    Sincerely,

    Frankie Machine

  54. What Minneapolitans lack in education they more than make up for in ignorance. Unfortunately, that’s also the case in Rochester. I never saw so many stupid and hateful peole in one small geographic are in my life. And don’t get me started on that God-awful excuse for a university known as Saint Mary’s University. It’s so bad it actually makes Capella University look good. horribly expensive tuition, substandard academic preparation, pricks on the faculty and staff, not to mention the snotty, bitchy little rich morons whose daddies couldn’t bribe University of Minnesota to admit their precious little darlings.

  55. If you DO decide to attend Saint Mary’s remember that it is a “Christian” school in name only. Once they have your money, you better keep a sharp eye on a certain conniving little backstabber named. If it suits her personal agenda, she WILL screw you over.

  56. Dave,

    My apologies. I definitely overstepped on that one. In all fairness I can’t actually hate an entire city, but sometimes it feels good to rant and vent. Merry Christmas, and even though my feelings and perceptions are what they are, sometimes my expression of the negative ones are as subtle as a sledgehammer. Man! I wish i’d asked Santa for a blog of my own…

  57. Wow, that’s the most civility I think I’ve ever seen between two people in MN.

    Alright, here’s a classic MN story for you. My dad, who’s a banker in NYC, was working with a financial firm based in Minneapolis in the early 90s. He came out for a business trip and was treated to a duck hunting trip. He gets to know this one guy a little bit – some finance VP or something. As the years go by, they do some more busines together.

    Then, a few years back, after I moved out here, my dad came out and we all went to dinner. The MN finance dude said he was going to take us to “his place” – Kozlaks (sp?) in some town north of St. Paul. Apparently, after you make a reservation, this place makes (or used to make) match books with your last name on them which they then put at each place on the table. Well, they spelled the dude’s name wrong. Really mangled it. So, here’s me, my dad, and the guy who now just looks like he’s going to pinch a big dooty in his shorts. Clearly miffed about the matchbooks.

    Well, my dad, who is an inveterate practical joker (in a VERY New York way) smuggles each of the matchbooks out with him after the dinner. Over the next few months, my dad would occasionally send the guy one of the matchbooks as a joke.

    Guess what? The MN guy has never talked to my dad since. Stopped responding to his correspondence several years ago. A harmless, indeed, only mildly-funny joke turned into some big horkin slight on the guy and he’s now cut my dad off. I think he must’ve taken it as “Big New York Guy” pickin on “Little Minnesota Feller.” No sense of humor whatsoever.

    Native Minnesotans are SMART to stay here. They wouldn’t survive two minutes of the humor out east which, BTW, is entirely what makes life bearable.

  58. Good story, but I have to ask this question (I shouldn’t from reading previous posts): Why do native Minnesotans HATE the East Coast? I was talking to this one girl at a wedding and I asked her what her plans were after college. The first thing she told me was she had no intentions of leaving Minneapolis to go east where all the “weirdos” are. I asked her what she meant by that comment. For five minutes she couldn’t give me a single reason why the East Coast was a bad place to be. She just kept using generic terms and blanket statements saying that all the crazy people were living on the E.C. At another party I went to she was there and I made a comment about her glasses and she just freaked out. I was joking and she didn’t know how to respond so she just friggin sat there and stared at the wall. WTF???

  59. Good story, but I have to ask this question (I shouldn’t from reading previous posts): Why do native Minnesotans HATE the East Coast? I was talking to this one girl at a wedding and I asked her what her plans were after college. The first thing she told me was she had no intentions of leaving Minneapolis to go east where all the “weirdos” are. I asked her what she meant by that comment. For five minutes she couldn’t give me a single reason why the East Coast was a bad place to be. She just kept using generic terms and blanket statements saying that all the crazy people were living on the E.C. At another party I went to she was there and I made a comment about her glasses and she just freaked out. I was joking and she didn’t know how to respond so she just friggin sat there and stared at the wall. WTF???

  60. My family moved to Minnesota 5 generations ago and – other than some nice income producing real estate – I cannot understand what motivated them. Since I left 10 years ago, my main question for the people of my homeland is: what is wrong with these people? I guess the only conclusion I can come to is that Minnesota is isolated from the rest of the country and was never really forced to adapt to a more socially functional and less provincial way of life. Oh well, there are some nice companies there I can tee up for the New York banking crowd. The only downside is that the bankers here don’t have much good to say about the senior management teams there; too conservative, stagnant, lacking talent, poor work ethic, etc. Oh well, good luck in the unemployment lines guys!

  61. My family moved to Minnesota 5 generations ago and – other than some nice income producing real estate – I cannot understand what motivated them. Since I left 10 years ago, my main question for the people of my homeland is: what is wrong with these people? I guess the only conclusion I can come to is that Minnesota is isolated from the rest of the country and was never really forced to adapt to a more socially functional and less provincial way of life. Oh well, there are some nice companies there I can tee up for the New York banking crowd. The only downside is that the bankers here don’t have much good to say about the senior management teams there; too conservative, stagnant, lacking talent, poor work ethic, etc. Oh well, good luck in the unemployment lines guys!

  62. You should have stayed in MN. I’m sick of people from outside NY moving in and mucking it up. NY in the 70’s remember those days? No you don’t because you weren’t here then. Now we are a light, watercolored version of what we used to be. It’s all because of Guliani and you liberals moving into the city.

  63. You should have stayed in MN. I’m sick of people from outside NY moving in and mucking it up. NY in the 70’s remember those days? No you don’t because you weren’t here then. Now we are a light, watercolored version of what we used to be. It’s all because of Guliani and you liberals moving into the city.

  64. A couple years ago I went on a trip to Chicago and was just bewildered as to why every store downtown closed at 5pm on weekdays and didn’t open again ’til Monday. Or that you have to pay random tolls to get to the city, or that the mass transit out there is very innefficient (trains regularly arrive 5-10 mins after scheduled only to be followed 10 seconds later by another train), and the list can go on and on.

    In that sense, Minneapolis is superior.
    In another sense though, Minneapolis/St. Paul both pretend to be something that they’re not, and that is being even remotely comparable to real cities in the US.

  65. A couple years ago I went on a trip to Chicago and was just bewildered as to why every store downtown closed at 5pm on weekdays and didn’t open again ’til Monday. Or that you have to pay random tolls to get to the city, or that the mass transit out there is very innefficient (trains regularly arrive 5-10 mins after scheduled only to be followed 10 seconds later by another train), and the list can go on and on.

    In that sense, Minneapolis is superior.
    In another sense though, Minneapolis/St. Paul both pretend to be something that they’re not, and that is being even remotely comparable to real cities in the US.

  66. Definately Mn/St Paul is not accommadating to people who use public transit. Even Memphis has a better public transit system. Before I moved here I lived in Charlotte and couldn’t wait to leave. Now that I’m in Minnesota, I regret the decision to come here.

  67. Definately Mn/St Paul is not accommadating to people who use public transit. Even Memphis has a better public transit system. Before I moved here I lived in Charlotte and couldn’t wait to leave. Now that I’m in Minnesota, I regret the decision to come here.

  68. Justin – Depends on where you go in Chicago. The area known as “the Loop” does indeed close shop around 5 or 6; but that’s because there are mostly businesses there anyway. From Randolph headed north along State Street, few stay open past 7 or so (except for restaurants). The Water Tower, at least when I lived there, stayed open until 9-ish. What most people don’t realize is that in Streeterville – the area north of the river and east of Michigan Avenue – has all sorts of little eateries and shops nestled into back alleys. The high rent crowd that lives there doesn’t want alot of traffic into these areas so you’re not likely to find them. As for stores being open, head over to Wells, Broadway, Clarke, Fullerton, etc. and head north from Division Street up to the area around Wrigley Field. Along these miles of street you will find plenty of stores open into the late evening – a few even into the wee hours. No, it’s not like NYC but then no place is. As far as the public transportation, you have to know how to use the subway, EL, and buses in combination. There’s no comparison, though, between Chicago and the Twin Cities. Minnesota is a hick backwater, two big river towns that are dominated by the suburbs with a complete absence of flavor, ethnic spice (for the most part), and dynamism.

  69. Justin – Depends on where you go in Chicago. The area known as “the Loop” does indeed close shop around 5 or 6; but that’s because there are mostly businesses there anyway. From Randolph headed north along State Street, few stay open past 7 or so (except for restaurants). The Water Tower, at least when I lived there, stayed open until 9-ish. What most people don’t realize is that in Streeterville – the area north of the river and east of Michigan Avenue – has all sorts of little eateries and shops nestled into back alleys. The high rent crowd that lives there doesn’t want alot of traffic into these areas so you’re not likely to find them. As for stores being open, head over to Wells, Broadway, Clarke, Fullerton, etc. and head north from Division Street up to the area around Wrigley Field. Along these miles of street you will find plenty of stores open into the late evening – a few even into the wee hours. No, it’s not like NYC but then no place is. As far as the public transportation, you have to know how to use the subway, EL, and buses in combination. There’s no comparison, though, between Chicago and the Twin Cities. Minnesota is a hick backwater, two big river towns that are dominated by the suburbs with a complete absence of flavor, ethnic spice (for the most part), and dynamism.

  70. Listen up! I was born and raised here until I was 18 when I had enough sense to move to Dallas,I’ve since lived in ATL,and LA,and now have to live here in St Paul for a few. I never thought I’d be back but I am and its worse than I remember! The cops are completely out of ****ing control! They patrol citys that they no nothing about. You cant live in some suburb and then come to lets say North MPLS and patrol,you have no clue about the neighborhood your patroling since you dont live there,all they know is what they watch on FOX news! If your black or even white and driving a car that looks a little to flashy well trust me their pulling you over,cause their insecure and like to force their own standards on people. Everything here is in black and white and stereotyped I think people need to live in some other citys and start to open their little bity shelterd minds. I’m going to post other things about this shitty state since the people defending it are saying its only people from somewhere else that are putting it down. Well I’m born and raised and I’m going to open your eyes about whats really going on in this backward ass hick state

  71. Listen up! I was born and raised here until I was 18 when I had enough sense to move to Dallas,I’ve since lived in ATL,and LA,and now have to live here in St Paul for a few. I never thought I’d be back but I am and its worse than I remember! The cops are completely out of ****ing control! They patrol citys that they no nothing about. You cant live in some suburb and then come to lets say North MPLS and patrol,you have no clue about the neighborhood your patroling since you dont live there,all they know is what they watch on FOX news! If your black or even white and driving a car that looks a little to flashy well trust me their pulling you over,cause their insecure and like to force their own standards on people. Everything here is in black and white and stereotyped I think people need to live in some other citys and start to open their little bity shelterd minds. I’m going to post other things about this shitty state since the people defending it are saying its only people from somewhere else that are putting it down. Well I’m born and raised and I’m going to open your eyes about whats really going on in this backward ass hick state

  72. One of the biggest things here is the way people drive,I dont understand why people dont know that the left lane is a fast lane or passing lane and the the right lane is the slow lane! Their are plenty of people in this state that have no control over their lives and are insecure babies that when they get behind a wheel of a car or most of all a pick up truck they feel tuff and want to play traffic games ie: Getting in front of you and slow down. These same people are scared in life to voice their opinion or stand up for themselves that they have to wait until their protected by steel and fiberglass and their cell phone before they start shit with someone. I’m allways amazed that these people allways run away and will even run thru lights to avoid from getting their ass beat when you decide to pull along side them and ask what their problem is,are these the same kids in gradeschool that give you the finger and than hide behind the teacher? You dont see this to much in Dallas becuase so many people have been killed over road rage maybe these people should think about that since Minnesota is allways behind the rest of the Country its only a matter of time before someone might get their clock punched.

  73. One of the biggest things here is the way people drive,I dont understand why people dont know that the left lane is a fast lane or passing lane and the the right lane is the slow lane! Their are plenty of people in this state that have no control over their lives and are insecure babies that when they get behind a wheel of a car or most of all a pick up truck they feel tuff and want to play traffic games ie: Getting in front of you and slow down. These same people are scared in life to voice their opinion or stand up for themselves that they have to wait until their protected by steel and fiberglass and their cell phone before they start shit with someone. I’m allways amazed that these people allways run away and will even run thru lights to avoid from getting their ass beat when you decide to pull along side them and ask what their problem is,are these the same kids in gradeschool that give you the finger and than hide behind the teacher? You dont see this to much in Dallas becuase so many people have been killed over road rage maybe these people should think about that since Minnesota is allways behind the rest of the Country its only a matter of time before someone might get their clock punched.

  74. Tis true about how they drive. You never want to fuck around in traffic in Jersey. I remember reading somewhere back in the nineties that we lead the country for road rage deaths. I’ve never lived in Minesota but I went out there last summer to visit my cousin and I couldn’t wait to get back home.

  75. Tis true about how they drive. You never want to fuck around in traffic in Jersey. I remember reading somewhere back in the nineties that we lead the country for road rage deaths. I’ve never lived in Minesota but I went out there last summer to visit my cousin and I couldn’t wait to get back home.

  76. I lived in the twin cities, both of ’em, for 11 years and was very happy to get out of there. I think you have to be from there to be able to tolerate it. Very odd people. That’s being kind.

  77. I lived in the twin cities, both of ’em, for 11 years and was very happy to get out of there. I think you have to be from there to be able to tolerate it. Very odd people. That’s being kind.

  78. Minneapolis is to America what the Air Force is to the military. Sure it’s a city in the states, but does anyone else notice it’s there?

  79. Minneapolis is to America what the Air Force is to the military. Sure it’s a city in the states, but does anyone else notice it’s there?

  80. Wow, it sure has been awhile since I posted here. I don’t know about Minneapolis (except for St. Mary’s University), but it appears to be nothing more than a larger scale Rochester. Same icy personalities (for the most part). The parking situation in Minneapolis IS ridiculous, as Dave points out. I ran into similar problems when attending school in the 2500 block of Park Avenue South; police watching how everyone parked while crime ran rampant all around them.

    Anyone hear about the blonde Minneapolitan who was killed in the helicopter accident? She got cold, so she turned off the fan.

  81. Wow, it sure has been awhile since I posted here. I don’t know about Minneapolis (except for St. Mary’s University), but it appears to be nothing more than a larger scale Rochester. Same icy personalities (for the most part). The parking situation in Minneapolis IS ridiculous, as Dave points out. I ran into similar problems when attending school in the 2500 block of Park Avenue South; police watching how everyone parked while crime ran rampant all around them.

    Anyone hear about the blonde Minneapolitan who was killed in the helicopter accident? She got cold, so she turned off the fan.

  82. I’m surprised to find so many individuals who share my absolute loathing of Minneapolis. I recently moved back to the Minneapolis-St. Paul area–I went to high school here. In any case, I spend a couple months a year in the Dallas-Fort Worth area and also frequently travel to Los Angeles.

    Minnesota is an absolute slum. For starters, real estate in the Minneapolis area is insane and the homes have zero class in their design. In the DFW, homes are much cheaper in price, the land is actually able to be used all year round, and in my opinion, it’s much more enjoyable to keep up your property, because you’re not digging yourself out of snow for several months a year.
    You can build a new 5 bedroom home in the DFW area for around $180,000–try finding anything remotely near that in this shit hole known as Minneapolis.

    I’m glad to see other people have a problem with the road design in this town. I swear to God, whoever the city planners of the MSP area were drunk when they laid out the freeway system–what a disaster.

    Restaurants–this place lacks variety in food that is just embarrassing. I’m not merely talking snooty overpriced organic restaurants here, I’m talking chain restaurants, and fast food joints as well.

    The radio stations in Minnesota absolutely stink from one end of the dial to the other. Thank God we are about 10 years behind the rest of the country. I’ve listened to more progressive radio stations in Fargo, ND than in Minneapolis. Minneapolis is the city that caught onto Phil Hendrie right at the point he retired, when KTLK picked him up, and now they run his new show that no one listens to. Uh, I’m sorry, I don’t want to listen to MPR, 93X (which seems to be stuck in the 1990’s). Thank God I have XM and an Ipod, so I can listen to real music stations, Tom Leykis, Opie and Anthony, all 3 hours of Sean Hannity instead of the few hours of lag time so KTLK can broadcast that awful blowhard, Jason Lewis. Radio in Minneapolis is just awful and conservative (yes, I realize the irony in my word choice after mentioning that I occasionally listen to Shawn Hannity).

    The news anchors in Minneapolis aren’t much better than the news anchors in North Dakota, which is just sad, because I watch the news in North Dakota when I visit like I do a sitcom–they just make me laugh.

    Downtown Minneapolis is a dump, plain and simple, and Uptown is a nasty ghetto filled with hipster dumb asses who haven’t showered in the past month. How did that Block E thing work out, Minneapolis? Way to revitalize that urinal of a city… oh wait, businesses are pulling out faster than a Minneapolis man having sex bareback, which seems to be the only way MSPers like to have sex. Have fun with the HPV.

    The black-rimmed glasses crowd. I don’t know how or why Minneapolis became filled with this dirty hipsters, but could you people get over yourselves? These pseudo-intellectual pricks who think they are soooo liberal, yet couldn’t be more uptight if you poked the end of a shovel up their bum holes, strut around in their all black clothing, yammering on about lame kitchy bands that no one else cares about–because they are awful, and then they go on about politics in the most uneducated manner possible. Jesus, knock it off.

    Yes, there is also that everyone hangs with everyone they went to high school with mentality. I agree with that, but you’ll find that quite a bit in North Dakota, South Dakota, Western Wisconsin, and Iowa as well. It’s even worse in Minneapolis, because people from the just mentioned localities seem to migrate to Minneapolis for the “big city life,” and they usually move here with people they went to high school with. Blech. You just don’t see this in many other places, although Long Island and Boston sound about the same. Most other places don’t give a shit where you went to high school, period. It is very difficult to randomly meet people in Minneapolis.

    Minnesota nice is just bullshit, I agree. People here love avoiding eye contact. As a test one day, I just walked around downtown saying “hi” to as many people and made eye contact with them, and I think 2 people actually said “hi” in return to me. It’s as if everyone in this city, St. Paul and the suburbs icluded, walks around terrified of other people–what a bunch of xenophobes! Minneapolis is a city of nervous lil’ Nellies. On top of it all, Minnesota is backstab central. It’s not Minnesota Nice, it’s Minnesota Nice to Your Face, And As Soon As You Turn Around, I’ll Passive-Agressively Backstab You. Just look at how Minneapolis treated Randy Moss, Dante Culpepper, and just about any other celbrity not named Kirby Puckett. Minneapolis loves running anyone out of town who doesn’t stick to the uptight Minnesota faux-snooty attitude. I find this hilarious, because I’ve heard many Minnesotans rant about how snooty Californians are, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve had nothing but good experiences in California.

    The weather is awful. There is no good reason to live in Minnesota, and I hope to be moving soon. I can’t take another winter. This granted, it’s Minnesota, but I still hate it. I think a lot of people’s uptight attitudes stem from the weather and lack of sun during the winter. People here should invest in light boxes–I did, and it does wonders for my mood.

    Minneapolis seems to lack any identity. It seems to spend it’s entire time trying to steal from other cities, and we’re left with this shitty hodgepodge of crap with no personality. I’ve never been to a city that lacks personality this much. You can go to Bismarck, ND, Fargo, ND, Des Moines, IA, Dallas, Los Angeles, and you know where you are, even if they suck, they have an identity. Minneapolis just stinks.

    The music scene in Minneapolis sucks, as well. You have emo crap, thug rap (which exists many other places), shitty wannabe hip-hop, shitty dj’s, and other suck. No, I do not like Atmosphere, and hardly anyone else does, and Prince stopped being relevant back in the mid-80’s, so shut up.

    Only the MSP area could treat a fat toad like Garrison Kiellor like he’s legitimate at anything. That miserable a@@ sums up exactly why Minnesota sucks, and he’s an unimaginative tool of a “writer” on top of everything else. Hey tubby, your movie stunk, as well. Get over yourself.

    Cab drivers in Minneapolis suck. I’d rather take a crab ride through The Bronx than deal with the pricks who drive cab in this town.

    The cops in this town are a joke as well. I don’t know so much about the suburbs, because I haven’t needed to call the police since I’ve moved to the burbs, but the city of Minneapolis is horrible. Honestly, try getting a cop on the phone unless you dial 911, or any other city official. They will not answer you, and they will not contact you back. I’ve honestly called the Minneapolis PD and had them not answer the phone on mutiple occasions. But then again, these geniuses let a crack den open up on the same block as a police station without knowing about it until KMSP did a report on it. What a joke! I’m sorry, but there is nooooo way the crime rate in this city is as good as the government is leading us to believe. I think anyone who lives in Minneapolis will tell you as much. I’ve felt safer in dowtown Dallas and Los Angeles than I’ve felt in Minneapolis.

    Come to think of it… the government in Minnesota in general seems to be a little more corrupt and incompetent than most places. Minnesota does seem to have an okay school system, but the rest of the government seems corrupt and all the laws seem to be money traps, and this is more so than a lot of places.

    Also, Minnesota is the state of hockey, because no one else cares about hockey enough to even be bothered with such inane pride. It’s not that I detest hockey, but if there was ever an uptight white man sport, I don’t know what it would be. It’s an excuse for a bunch of passive-agressive white dudes to skate around and beat the crap out of one another because they are so emotionally vaccant in the rest of their lives.

    I could go on and on about my loathing of Minnesota and Minneapolis, but I just have to end it here. I will leave on this note–at least Minnesota isn’t North Dakota, but that’s not saying much. Actually, Minnesota is pretty much North Dakota with more people, now that I think about it, and there couldn’t be a bigger arm-pit of humanity than North Dakota. Oh, and before any of you Minnesota defending pricks come crying about how Texas is filled with hicks–why don’t you actually try visiting Texas first, it is one of the most populated states in the nation for a reason, and for every hick in Texas, there are at least 6 in Minnesota.

  83. I’m surprised to find so many individuals who share my absolute loathing of Minneapolis. I recently moved back to the Minneapolis-St. Paul area–I went to high school here. In any case, I spend a couple months a year in the Dallas-Fort Worth area and also frequently travel to Los Angeles.

    Minnesota is an absolute slum. For starters, real estate in the Minneapolis area is insane and the homes have zero class in their design. In the DFW, homes are much cheaper in price, the land is actually able to be used all year round, and in my opinion, it’s much more enjoyable to keep up your property, because you’re not digging yourself out of snow for several months a year.
    You can build a new 5 bedroom home in the DFW area for around $180,000–try finding anything remotely near that in this shit hole known as Minneapolis.

    I’m glad to see other people have a problem with the road design in this town. I swear to God, whoever the city planners of the MSP area were drunk when they laid out the freeway system–what a disaster.

    Restaurants–this place lacks variety in food that is just embarrassing. I’m not merely talking snooty overpriced organic restaurants here, I’m talking chain restaurants, and fast food joints as well.

    The radio stations in Minnesota absolutely stink from one end of the dial to the other. Thank God we are about 10 years behind the rest of the country. I’ve listened to more progressive radio stations in Fargo, ND than in Minneapolis. Minneapolis is the city that caught onto Phil Hendrie right at the point he retired, when KTLK picked him up, and now they run his new show that no one listens to. Uh, I’m sorry, I don’t want to listen to MPR, 93X (which seems to be stuck in the 1990’s). Thank God I have XM and an Ipod, so I can listen to real music stations, Tom Leykis, Opie and Anthony, all 3 hours of Sean Hannity instead of the few hours of lag time so KTLK can broadcast that awful blowhard, Jason Lewis. Radio in Minneapolis is just awful and conservative (yes, I realize the irony in my word choice after mentioning that I occasionally listen to Shawn Hannity).

    The news anchors in Minneapolis aren’t much better than the news anchors in North Dakota, which is just sad, because I watch the news in North Dakota when I visit like I do a sitcom–they just make me laugh.

    Downtown Minneapolis is a dump, plain and simple, and Uptown is a nasty ghetto filled with hipster dumb asses who haven’t showered in the past month. How did that Block E thing work out, Minneapolis? Way to revitalize that urinal of a city… oh wait, businesses are pulling out faster than a Minneapolis man having sex bareback, which seems to be the only way MSPers like to have sex. Have fun with the HPV.

    The black-rimmed glasses crowd. I don’t know how or why Minneapolis became filled with this dirty hipsters, but could you people get over yourselves? These pseudo-intellectual pricks who think they are soooo liberal, yet couldn’t be more uptight if you poked the end of a shovel up their bum holes, strut around in their all black clothing, yammering on about lame kitchy bands that no one else cares about–because they are awful, and then they go on about politics in the most uneducated manner possible. Jesus, knock it off.

    Yes, there is also that everyone hangs with everyone they went to high school with mentality. I agree with that, but you’ll find that quite a bit in North Dakota, South Dakota, Western Wisconsin, and Iowa as well. It’s even worse in Minneapolis, because people from the just mentioned localities seem to migrate to Minneapolis for the “big city life,” and they usually move here with people they went to high school with. Blech. You just don’t see this in many other places, although Long Island and Boston sound about the same. Most other places don’t give a shit where you went to high school, period. It is very difficult to randomly meet people in Minneapolis.

    Minnesota nice is just bullshit, I agree. People here love avoiding eye contact. As a test one day, I just walked around downtown saying “hi” to as many people and made eye contact with them, and I think 2 people actually said “hi” in return to me. It’s as if everyone in this city, St. Paul and the suburbs icluded, walks around terrified of other people–what a bunch of xenophobes! Minneapolis is a city of nervous lil’ Nellies. On top of it all, Minnesota is backstab central. It’s not Minnesota Nice, it’s Minnesota Nice to Your Face, And As Soon As You Turn Around, I’ll Passive-Agressively Backstab You. Just look at how Minneapolis treated Randy Moss, Dante Culpepper, and just about any other celbrity not named Kirby Puckett. Minneapolis loves running anyone out of town who doesn’t stick to the uptight Minnesota faux-snooty attitude. I find this hilarious, because I’ve heard many Minnesotans rant about how snooty Californians are, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve had nothing but good experiences in California.

    The weather is awful. There is no good reason to live in Minnesota, and I hope to be moving soon. I can’t take another winter. This granted, it’s Minnesota, but I still hate it. I think a lot of people’s uptight attitudes stem from the weather and lack of sun during the winter. People here should invest in light boxes–I did, and it does wonders for my mood.

    Minneapolis seems to lack any identity. It seems to spend it’s entire time trying to steal from other cities, and we’re left with this shitty hodgepodge of crap with no personality. I’ve never been to a city that lacks personality this much. You can go to Bismarck, ND, Fargo, ND, Des Moines, IA, Dallas, Los Angeles, and you know where you are, even if they suck, they have an identity. Minneapolis just stinks.

    The music scene in Minneapolis sucks, as well. You have emo crap, thug rap (which exists many other places), shitty wannabe hip-hop, shitty dj’s, and other suck. No, I do not like Atmosphere, and hardly anyone else does, and Prince stopped being relevant back in the mid-80’s, so shut up.

    Only the MSP area could treat a fat toad like Garrison Kiellor like he’s legitimate at anything. That miserable a@@ sums up exactly why Minnesota sucks, and he’s an unimaginative tool of a “writer” on top of everything else. Hey tubby, your movie stunk, as well. Get over yourself.

    Cab drivers in Minneapolis suck. I’d rather take a crab ride through The Bronx than deal with the pricks who drive cab in this town.

    The cops in this town are a joke as well. I don’t know so much about the suburbs, because I haven’t needed to call the police since I’ve moved to the burbs, but the city of Minneapolis is horrible. Honestly, try getting a cop on the phone unless you dial 911, or any other city official. They will not answer you, and they will not contact you back. I’ve honestly called the Minneapolis PD and had them not answer the phone on mutiple occasions. But then again, these geniuses let a crack den open up on the same block as a police station without knowing about it until KMSP did a report on it. What a joke! I’m sorry, but there is nooooo way the crime rate in this city is as good as the government is leading us to believe. I think anyone who lives in Minneapolis will tell you as much. I’ve felt safer in dowtown Dallas and Los Angeles than I’ve felt in Minneapolis.

    Come to think of it… the government in Minnesota in general seems to be a little more corrupt and incompetent than most places. Minnesota does seem to have an okay school system, but the rest of the government seems corrupt and all the laws seem to be money traps, and this is more so than a lot of places.

    Also, Minnesota is the state of hockey, because no one else cares about hockey enough to even be bothered with such inane pride. It’s not that I detest hockey, but if there was ever an uptight white man sport, I don’t know what it would be. It’s an excuse for a bunch of passive-agressive white dudes to skate around and beat the crap out of one another because they are so emotionally vaccant in the rest of their lives.

    I could go on and on about my loathing of Minnesota and Minneapolis, but I just have to end it here. I will leave on this note–at least Minnesota isn’t North Dakota, but that’s not saying much. Actually, Minnesota is pretty much North Dakota with more people, now that I think about it, and there couldn’t be a bigger arm-pit of humanity than North Dakota. Oh, and before any of you Minnesota defending pricks come crying about how Texas is filled with hicks–why don’t you actually try visiting Texas first, it is one of the most populated states in the nation for a reason, and for every hick in Texas, there are at least 6 in Minnesota.

  84. All right. I’m shutting this shit down. I have been beyond tolerant of the crap that is being posted on this page because I love free speech.

    But this is beyond what I’m willing to allow on my site.

    What started as a minor, somewhat tongue-in-cheek bitch has turned into just plain nastiness.

    So, after I delete a few of the more egregious recent posts, I am shutting this thing down. I’m putting comment moderation on fully so I have to approve each post. Don’t even try and write anything on this page ’cause I ain’t gonna allow it.

    By the way: Minneapolis still sucks for their deceptive, revenue-generating sign strategy but I still love the city.

    It’s one thing to bitch, it’s another thing entirely to go after people personally. So screw off all you haters!

  85. All right. I’m shutting this shit down. I have been beyond tolerant of the crap that is being posted on this page because I love free speech.

    But this is beyond what I’m willing to allow on my site.

    What started as a minor, somewhat tongue-in-cheek bitch has turned into just plain nastiness.

    So, after I delete a few of the more egregious recent posts, I am shutting this thing down. I’m putting comment moderation on fully so I have to approve each post. Don’t even try and write anything on this page ’cause I ain’t gonna allow it.

    By the way: Minneapolis still sucks for their deceptive, revenue-generating sign strategy but I still love the city.

    It’s one thing to bitch, it’s another thing entirely to go after people personally. So screw off all you haters!

  86. Put me on the list – I think there sneaky creeps, They must make a lot of money towing & tagging
    And I bet that’s the way they like it, Got to keep those tow trucks busy all year so the drivers stay in
    business because the snow is coming and that’s when the impound lot gets really busy.

    Really wish I didn’t have to go into Mpls at all, I feel slightly sick just driving through it.
    St Paul – not as bad IMO.

  87. Put me on the list – I think there sneaky creeps, They must make a lot of money towing & tagging
    And I bet that’s the way they like it, Got to keep those tow trucks busy all year so the drivers stay in
    business because the snow is coming and that’s when the impound lot gets really busy.

    Really wish I didn’t have to go into Mpls at all, I feel slightly sick just driving through it.
    St Paul – not as bad IMO.

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